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Don't look back, we're not headed that way.

25 July
This is hard to explain: I am cruising into my 40's, the career thing is good, the boyfriend thing is really good, I am by nature an optimistic, happy homo...and I am readdressing my grief. I lost my partner of 13 years, almost exactly five years ago, to large cell non-Hodgkins lymphoma. It has been a helluva journey, only made endurable by the bedside promise that I would do my best. But here's the thing: my only recent memories of my love and my marriage are grief-based...and they are going away. I wish I had kept a journal during those first few zombie-like years. I lost Michael twice, first in a hospital, and then to time. A lot of what you are going to read here, especially at first, is going to be about that loss.

But there is also going to be a dichotomy here, one you may find disturbing.

If you have suffered a recent loss, my heart goes out to you. Please feel free to e-mail me if you desire, but be forewarned that this journal is being written now: 5 years later. My life now includes the most recent of a series of boyfriends, a burgeoning career, travels, and all the things that are part of a life moving forward. These are things I could not conceive of five years ago. It might get confusing or weird for you. Sometimes it is for me, too.

It is my nature to share, entertain and educate. I'll do my best.